The Reason Everyone Should Watch Step Brothers

Step Brothers was a terrible movie. It was so bad. It was just further evidence that Will Ferrell is out. While Anchorman was crap-my-pants funny, it later became apparent that he only knows about three jokes because they were repeated throughout his other movies in one form or another. He can eat fecies (pretty much hilarious by itself, and doesn't require much added Ferrell charm), he can make amusing mythological references (to the beard of Zeus and Oden's raven, that type of stuff), and he can really sport fake genitals (boner in Anchorman, awesome fake sack in Step Brothers).

Anyway, I got within five minutes of the ending, primarily because there was nothing else on. Also, I already expended all the effort moving the Lay-Z-Boy really close to the T.V. so that I wouldn't have to expend undue effort focussing my eyes and whatnot. (I work really hard at being lazy). Anyway, I had spent the previous hour and a half working up the energy to grab the remote and turn it off, when suddenly, this piece of garbage movie almost exploded my brain with revelation.

About six or seven years ago, I was in George's restaurant on Eglinton, right around the corner from Devastatin Dave's house, and I heard one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard play. No-one knew what it was called. And I've spent all that time up till now with this mystery slowly gnawing at my mind. Well, for no apparent reason, at the end of the movie, Will Ferrell sang it. So, I was able to find what it was called by referencing the movie using the interweb.

Por Ti Volare.

Wicked song. But more than that, you know the feeling of working so hard to remember where you heard a line, or curing tip-of-the-tongue syndrome? well it was like I had tip-of-the-tongue-syndrome for seven years and then my face exploded after figuring it out.

So, using my deductive powers of logic, I have concluded that this terrible, terrible movie has magical powers and will also solve all of your mysteries. I can't stress enough how terrible it was. But apparently the movie was enchanted by a wizard, and if you have the sticktoitiveness to sit through something like that, you get a wish granted.

Just terrible.